Getting out of the funk

I confess that I was out of whack most days recently.  I suspect that my depression may have something to do with Michael’s death anniversary last Tuesday.  Remembering  the events  leading to  the day Michael died is always inevitable.

Funny how easy it is to go into sadness. And we all visit that place at one time or another. All I have to do is call in the troops. That particular battalion is named Regret. 

Here’s the formula: Sadness1 + Regrets +Sadness2 = Depression.  So now you get the picture.
 

I felt better  the other day, Friday.  I always look forward to   Fridays and Saturdays, my dance evenings.    I’m a certified card-carrying danceaholic.  And I know that someday I just might be lucky  enough to be famous. I just might go down in history as  the originator of the 12 Steps for Danceaholics Anonymous!   One of those steps will require  using one’s hips to illustrate the number “8”.  In some places, this dance step is called “Ocho-Ocho.” So now you get the picture. :)

What? I’m delusional?

I’d rather call myself hopelessly optimistic. 

Now how did I come up with that oxymoron?

The dancing made me feel better last Friday.  Yesterday, something I saw  boosted my spirits more and a seeming affirmation that everything is working towards my highest good.   The flyer jumped right out at me from  Mara's post on Facebook . It was a needed reminder and my marching  orders.

I got out of my funk. And I am grateful.

 

 

 Posted with Aloha!

- ARIEL MURPHY

The Shaka sign

Hand signs are prevalent all over the world.  They are a universal language  quickly understood. Flash an upright index and middle finger and you're saying "peace." An upheld clenched fist is a sign of protest. And a thumbs down is an obvious "No."
 
There is a sign that perhaps not many know about,  especially those of you outside the US . Called the Shaka, the sign is associated with Hawaii and means to "hang loose" or to convey Aloha.  

Surfers visiting Hawaii in the 60s  noticed locals using the sign and quickly spread it to other places. In Brazil, the sign also means to "hang loose." In Asia, the sign is used to represent a Taoist concept of "going with the flow."
 
I saw the sign  the first time I visited Hawaii. While I was on the road I noticed motorists extending their hand out of their car window and flashing the sign to other motorists.  I thought it very cool.
 
During the parade celebrating his first inauguration as US President, Barack Obama noticed with surprise the  school band from his old alma mater, Hawaii's Punahou School, leading Hawaii's contingency in the parade.  Instinctively, President Obama  flashed a Shaka with a captivating smile quickly captured by photographers. 

Alhough I was merely watching the parade on TV, I  still couldn't help but brim with delight and pride at the President's unexpected reaction.  I was nearly completely sure that the rest of Hawaii felt like I did.

Shaka! Let's keep connecting.

Let's keep the love going!

 

US President Barack Obama flashing the Shaka sign during his first inauguration as President in 2009.  Photo source: google.com

 

FOR MORE INFO PLEASE CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING LINK:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaka_sign

 

Posted with ALOHA

- By ARIEL MURPHY

Michael Murphy III

It has been nine years Michael and I still miss you. Before you left, you said that you will be with me always. And you are.

Thank you for the time we were together and what I've learned through you.

Thank you for having been my husband.

A hui hou! Till we meet again!

 

 

Posted with LOVE

- By ARIEL MURPHY



Thoughts on Memorial Day 2015

Today is Memorial Day in the US. For readers of this blog who are from other countries,  Memorial Day is one of the most important holidays in the US and celebrated to honor all those in the US Armed Forces who died while in service to their country.

One of those I know who served in the US Army is my friend Ralph. During the Vietnam war, Ralph was a medic in the US army and survived two tours in Vietnam. After being at the forefront of war, Ralph went on to study at the University of California, Berkeley  where he avidly protested the Vietnam war in between pursuing his  Bachelor of Science Degree in Microbiology.

I cannot imagine how it feels being in the middle of a barrage of machine gun fire. I cannot imagine how it is not to know whether I will still be breathing by the end of a day of fighting.  I cannot imagine being a first-hand witness to the horrors of war.

But I can imagine easily that anybody who goes to the battlefield  and returns home alive  is never unscathed, be it physically or emotionally.  Not all wounds are visible just as not all wounds heal.

Some emerge from war forever damaged -- bitter, cynical, traumatized. Those fortunate, after having had first hand experience with carnage,  come out  of war with a great deal of wisdom and a compassion for others and a respect for life deeper than what they had before they left to fight.

Today on Memorial Day, I thank Ralph and others like him who laid their lives on the line and made unimaginable sacrifices fighting for our ideals of inalienable human rights, freedom and democracy.

Ralph in army uniform, 1967

 

 

At Phan Thiet, Southeastern Vietnam, 1968

 While a student at University of California, Berkeley in 1972 and protesting the Vietnam war

 

Posted with Aloha
- By ARIEL MURPHY

In Ireland there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

Times like these make me proud to be a Murphy although I am Irish only by infusion.

Yesterday, the people of Ireland voted overwhelmingly to legalize same sex marriage. Ireland has become the first country in the world to make that historic and remarkable decision.

Who would ever think religiously Catholic Ireland  turning liberal enough to emerge at the forefront of social change in the world?

(The Universe sure has a delicious sense of humor.)

Could the Irish vote be a sign of increasing tolerance and acceptance for  differences in sexual preferences among people of the world? 

(Hope is not only a virtue but a necessity.)

Imagine a world where there is no prejudice,  bigotry,  racism. Half of  the problems we have now can be solved. Instead of spending the bulk of the budget on guns, planes and other tools of war, governments will have more resources to improve infrastructure, education and health. The greater the harmony among people, the more economic opportunities  improved lives.

But it is not just the money. Think  of a world vibrating at a higher level where acceptance, respect and kindness prevail.

In Ireland, there is indeed a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  That pot of gold is called love.

May that rainbow cover the earth.

 

LINK

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/25/world/europe/church-faces-murky-future-as-irish-support-same-sex-marriage.html

Posted with Aloha
- By ARIEL MURPHY

Love, death and life

On this day nine (9) years ago, my husband Michael was bedridden and in terrible pain. I was in denial that he was dying. I never lost hope that one day his will would win over his body and the cancer in him would disappear.  Three days later on May 26, 2006, Michael drew his last breath.

Last night at a dinner with friends in a hotel in Hilo  I met Mark.

Mark returned to  the Big Island partly to fulfill a dream he and his wife had to visit the Big Island again.  Mark and his wife planned the trip together six months ago.  A month before they were supposed to fly out, Mark's wife died unexpectedly.

Throughout the evening, Mark talked about his wife several times. He remembered how good a cook she was. He recounted  wirh obvious pride a story about how his wife thwarted a would-be home invasion by having great presence of mind.  He laughed as he recalled her quirks and idiosyncrasies.

When Mark excused himself from the table to wash his hands, I told the rest of the dinner guests that I very well knew what Mark was going through.

His wife died but he was still with her, every moment of the day.

He thinks of when she was last with him driving in his car to a particular destination.

He yearns for her voice, smell, touch -- her very essence.

He wonders why there are cars on the road and people still go about their everyday business.  He questions why the world hasn't stopped.

He was mourning for his wife in the exact same way I did for Michael.

My heart went out to Mark as I remembered Michael and how I struggled accepting his death  nine years ago.

It is said that nothing ever happens by chance.

I would like to think that meeting Mark three days before Michael's death anniversary was the Universe's way of telling me something.

As my friends and I said goodbye last night, Mark gave my hand a tight squeeze.

Posted with Aloha
- By ARIEL MURPHY

A heron

Yesterday while on the west side of the Big Island, I saw a  heron flirting with fish in a Koi pond. The heron was not shy at all.  Seeing that I had my camera with me, the bird stopped trying to aim its neck and bill for a quick grab at a fish and looked at me.

"Wanna take my portrait?" said the heron.

"I would love to," I answered  and began readying my camera.

I had to take several shots as the bird kept moving --  distracted by the fish in the pond but thankfully I was able to come up with what I thought were two decent photos.

I have to remember to send the heron a hard copy of the photos  with a thank you note saying, "It is hard to believe that you evolved from dinosaurs. Once you were a beast; now you're a beauty." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Somebody was taking my picture as I was taking a picture of the bird.

LINK:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_birds

Posted with Aloha

- By ARIEL MURPHY

Hawaii's phantom warriors

 

In George Martin's "Game of Thrones, there are the  White Walkers, a frightening massive band of undead that comes out in the thick of the night. They kill men, women, children and even animals and transform them into "re-animated corpses" with glowing ice blue eyes.

Hawaii has its own version of the White Walkers.  They're called the Night Marchers. Legend has it that during certain phases of the lunar cycle, the spirits of ancient Hawaiian warriors march towards sacred places or where they had once battled.

Imagine yourself camping by the beach.  It is close to the witching hour and  you are about to put out the campfire and head for your tent. You notice that dark brooding clouds have replaced the stars in the sky. The air has become heavy and damp. There is a pervasive odor of decay.

Suddenly you hear the faint sound of conch shells blown intermittently as drums beat and  a thousand feet thump the earth hard in unison.

Boom! Boom! Boom! The cadence remains unbroken even as the sounds get louder and nearer.

By this time practically all the hairs on your body are standing.  You are scared stiff like you've never been before.

Instinctively you run for your life

I had goose bumps the first time I heard the story of the Night Marchers. I was told that the warriors'  feet  don't touch the ground although some say that footprints have been found  along paths where the phantom warriors have supposedly trodden.

Another strange claim is that the Night Marchers only show themselves to those with Hawaiian blood.

Why? Nobody knows.

Yet.

A depiction of a Night Marcher by Jake Shimabuku. Source: google.com

Source: google.com
 

Another depiction of a Night Marcher. Source: google.com

 

A "White Walker" from "Game of Thrones." Photo source: google.com
 

A "wight" from "Game of Thrones." Photo source: google.com

 
LINKS:

http://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/story/27171113/exploring-the-legend-of-the-night-marchers

 

http://www.to-hawaii.com/legends/night-marchers.php

Posted with Aloha
- By ARIEL MURPHY

20 odd-funny Hawaiian expressions

For those of you not from Hawaii, here are some Hawaiian expressions that you might encounter should you have a chance to visit here. Except for the last two, I took all of the following from Jill Kozak in the May 14, 2015 issue of matador.com, a travel website:

1. Locals  don’t cheer when they’re excited. They shout “Cheehoo!”

2.  When everything is all messed up, things are definitely “hamajang.”

3.  You don’t get hurt in Hawaii, you get “buss (bust) up.”

4.  A Hawaii local never has a lot of something, but always has “choke” amounts.

      Example: “Punaluu beach has choke turtles.”

5. A Hawaii local never travels seaside, but always goes “Makai.” Likewise, a local never goes toward the mountains, but “mauka.”

6. If something is bad, a local will most definitely call it “junk.”

7. You might think you just got in a fight, but really, you got “in one scrap.”

8. A mainland mother might tell you to change your underwear every day, a local mom will remind you to change your “bibidees.”

9. You don’t go to the bathroom to make number 1, you always make “shi-shi.”

10. Others will question whether or not you’re a local if you don’t call soy sauce “shoyu.”

11. Anything that’s a pain in the butt is mostly definitely “humbug”

12. When your nose is runny, auntie might scold you to blow out your”hanabata.”

13. If your tan  needs work and your pale skin is noticeable, someone might call you “Daikon legs.”

14. Sitting on a hard surface too long or dealing with hamajang situations is certainly a pain in the “okole.”

15. A Hawaii local doesn’t smoke marijuana, but smokes “pakalolo.”

16. Locals don’t’ ask if you’re finished, they ask if you “stay pau.”

And if I may add my own to the above…

17. When locals eat, they “kaw kaw” and food is "grindz"

18. "Grindz" that tastes good is very "ono."

19. Hawaiians  go not to the supermarket but to “da store.”

20. A disagreement  is a "pilikia."

Shown above is part of the Big Island's Ahalanui county park which boasts of a palm-fringed thermally heated hot pond right next to the ocean. I saw a rainbow on the horizon one afternoon I was there and took this shot.

Another view of the warm pond. Photo source: google.com

Looking at the warm pond from the ocean side. Photo source: google.com 

Posted with Aloha

- By ARIEL MURPHY

A woman's strength

I just found out today that Cassandra, the young daughter of a friend, recently died in a shooting incident.  One moment she was driving to work; next thing she was collateral damage brought down by a bullet meant for somebody else.

When my husband passed on,  my grief was physical.  There was a undefinable constant sensation at the pit of my stomach that made me retch. I felt disembodied -- a zombie walking around.

Although I have not gone through the horrors (and heaven forbid) of losing one's own child, I nevertheless have an idea of the grieving and pain my friend is going through. 

Still, one never really fully recovers from the passing of a loved one. There is a permanent wound in the heart that stops bleeding but never really heals.

"Cassandra is now home and someday you will see each other again.," I told my friend in a message. I wasn't really sure of  how to comfort my friend, what to say,  or if any of what I had told her were true. Nobody really knows  but having faith works.  It comforts. It gives hope. Because only love conquers death and endures forever.

On my friend's timeline on Facebook, I found the quote below. I thought it an apt description of my friend's strength as a mother who lost a baby she carried in her womb for months and then nurtured -- flesh of her flesh, blood of her blood.



Posted with Aloha
- By ARIEL MURPHY