Excerpts From an Imaginary Dating Website Post

They say I'm crazy. Yep. It's a warning.
 

I am educated although I  never seem to learn and repeat the same mistakes.  I keep looking  for Merlin. Geez, no wonder he wouldn't show up. I'm not even British. Besides, I wouldn't dare compete with Morgana. She could turn me into a Coqui frog.
 

I'm forgetting Merlin and instead settling for Bozo, the clown. Nope I'm not lowering the bar. On the contrary, I'm raising it. Looking for magic is no longer practical for a gal like me, who's getting on. Humor and good cheer will keep the wrinkles at bay.
 

If you think you're my Bozo, you  must love to dance.  And  don't tell me you don't have  rhythm. If you know how to make love you have rhythm and ergo you can dance. Better yet, if you can lose yourself to music while dancing, you have passion. Ooooh lala!
 

You are blessed with endless patience. You are not perturbed by my endless questions and are willing to sign a prenuptial agreement saying you will never gag me or put me in a straightjacket.
 

In return for your benevolence, I will be your quintessential compliant asian woman.  I will squeeze fresh orange juice for your breakfast as long as you buy the oranges.  I will even uncomplainingly clean the sink after you shave.  And here, surely you can't possibly turn this down: I will give you a money back guarantee.

Now will you be mine?

Bozo, the clown. Source: kikarose.hubpages.com

 - Ariel Murphy