Here are some tried and tested prescriptions:
For depression - Either get a haircut or shave your head. You'll feel lighter. Guaranteed.
For loneliness - Get hold of Pat, one of the infamous 3 sisters who all have varying degrees of ADHD. She'll very gladly keep talking till 4 AM or until you finally beg her to go.
For disappointments - Go to Louise Ponciano's Facebook wall and look for her inspirational posts.
For frustration - Bang your head against the wall. Well, what else?
For boredom - Wash a coin, toss it high up in the air and then try to catch it with your tongue. Repeat every 4 hours.
For a broken heart - Easy. Retail therapy is the best. Shop till you drop.
Feeling randy? - Please, put on your birthday suit and take a good and long roll in the mud.
And if nothing works, turn up the music and dance like an idiot.
- Ariel Murphy